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3 days ago I stared to build my blog on WordPress. I could not wait to have the basic structure done so I could publish my first post and open the possibility of connecting with others in the way that I am currently missing. Well, I finished that basic layout and structure about 7 hours ago. I have never hesitated to speak my mind and thoughts so I am perplexed by my current delay. After all isn’t having an audience of this size this whole point of having a blog?

I live in Waxahachie, a small town in Texas. Old, small – minded values are still very much at the heart of this community. That is not to say that every member of the community is narrow minded but instead to say that the narrow minded are definitely visible.  This is direct opposition to me living openly gay. Now, to make things even more complex I am a right winged gay republican.  So, just to review that pretty much makes me too gay to be staight and too staight to be gay. (I tend to fall in the gaps a lot in life)

So being in this small, southern town I am isolated and have been looking for an outlet.  This is how I ended up here. And yet for sp.e reason I am hesitant.  Why? I have made a promise to myself that I will write honestly and truthfully,  and not delete posts once they are published. That means really really exposing myself. But, at the same time it means really really opening myself up to connect with others in similar situations.

My current social situation is compounded by the fact that I am bi-polar and struggling with complications  from gastric bypass. I want to write about my experiences and tell my story so that it can raise awareness of things like human rights, mental illness and health, and the current state of health care in our country. I realize that it will only be through education and understanding that the social mindset will begin to change.  Still, it is very intimidating to open myself up when for so long I have been prohibited from
exactly that.

I come into this with only the desire to have a chance to be open and honest about who I am and what I believe.  I would love it if I were able to find others who are like minded or share the sender views. More than anything I just need to be reminded that the world is so much bigger than this small town.